Being the middle man

Sometimes, its sulky to stuck between everything,
and couldn't choose exactly what you want

Being the average student in the class,
double booked yourself and don't know which side to choose,
stumble between a fight that couldn't choose a side to help,
stuck between letting go and hatred,
stranded between bulky and skinny,
frozen between life at death - in limbo

nothing above them sounds good

However, I'm just happen to puzzled between true and false,
right and wrong
always couldn't choose a side and make a correct decision
hence forcing myself to be the middle man
confounded
and couldn't forward myself,
or simply back out.....

Guess I'm just gonna stay in this state
and get nothing in return
X(

I'm talking to the moon

I know you're somewhere out there
Somewhere far away
I want you back
I want you back
My neighbors think
I'm crazy
But they don't understand
You're all I have
You're all I have

Chorus:

At night when the stars
light up my room
I sit by myself

Talking to the Moon
Try to get to You
In hopes you're on
the other side
Talking to me too
Or am I a fool
who sits alone
Talking to the moon

I'm feeling like I'm famous
The talk of the town
They say
I've gone mad
Yeah
I've gone mad
But they don't know
what I know

Cause when the
sun goes down
someone's talking back
Yeah
They're talking back

At night when the stars
light up my room
I sit by myself
Talking to the Moon
Try to get to You
In hopes you're on
the other side
Talking to me too
Or am I a fool
who sits alone
Talking to the moon

Do you ever hear me calling?
Cause every night
I'm talking to the moon
Still trying to get to you

In hopes you're on
the other side
Talking to me too
Or am I a fool
who sits alone
Talking to the moon

I know you're somewhere out there
Somewhere far away

*from bruno mars - talking to the moon *

it just makes me in deep abyss, and couldn't get out from the agony

=/

and I thought there were something more

I always thought there were something more
like in the movies;
but
years and years passed by

what i got is more disappointment
more agony
more desolation

and i lost myself beneath all these...

should I wake up and fight back?
I doubt that I have the courage.

But stuck in limbo doesn't make me go anywhere further

FML
I just want myself back

Down - Jason Walker

I don't know where I'm at.
I'm standing out the back,
And I'm tired of waiting.

Waiting here in in line,
Hoping that I'll find
What I've been chasing

I shot for the sky
I'm stuck on the ground
So why do I try?
I know I'm gonna fall down.
I thought I could fly,
So why did I drown?
You never know why
It's coming down, down, down.

Not ready to let go.
Cause then I'll never know
What I could be missing.

But I'm missing way too much.
When do I give up
What I've been wishing for?


I shot for the sky
I'm stuck on the ground
So why do I try?
I know I'm gonna fall down.
I thought I could fly,
So why did I drown?
You never know why
It's coming down, down, down.

Oh, I'm going down, down, down.
I can't find another way around
And I don't wanna hear the sound
Of losing what I've never found.

I shot for the sky
I'm stuck on the ground
So why do I try?
I know I'm gonna fall down.
I thought I could fly,
So why did I drown?
I'll never know why
It's coming down, down, down.

I shot for the sky
I'm stuck on the ground
So why do I try?
I know I'm gonna fall down.
I thought I could fly,
So why did I drown?
Oh,It's coming down, down, down.


credit to yik yang,
and cjk phark
for introducing this song......
if i'm not mistaken
is from the OST of Vampire Diaries

So why do I try, when I know I’m gonna fall down?

Aloha from deserted island

everyone is leaving,
to Uni,
to college,
scattered around the country;
and some even going to overseas...

wish you guys all the best in pursuing your dreams
=)

now left nothing much in penang...

wasn't feeling so nostalgic until
someone
keep bringing it up....
=X

everyone is having a new life
at new uni
new college
trying new stuff
meeting new people

envy....

but we old penang-ites
still doing the same old thing..

gurney QB gurney QB
ntg much to do in penang ....

so, when you guys are coming back
you won't notice any changes on us
because in this deserted island
nothing much can make us change ....

probably we won't be catching up your footsteps,
and that's when the gap happen,
and everyone seems to lost contact with each other

T.T

and this is the moment,
we start to doubt,
why don't we leave this island when we have the chance
to try the new stuff
have a new life...

and the primitive motive
that makes you choose to stay in penang,
starts to fade
and
you begin to lose your faith...


Why am I still here?

Its not a right tine to be Emo

The 3rd week of my advanced diploma had passed.
still trying to adapt myself,
to see new faces around the same old building,
while the old faces are still lingering
around every corner in the college.

anyhow, with my lovely classmates
spreading stressful aura around me
i think they have motivated me in some way
to be more hardworking than i used to be.

But this is disorienting some times,
i couldn't do
couldn't act
couldn't talk
couldn't think
like i used to be.
it's like some part of me is missing.

sorry that i've let you down,
and disappointed you >.<
i will try to balance out everything
and bring out the best of me;
as a good friend should be.

- - - - - - - - -

the rain still drizzling outside,
memories still stirring inside the house,
and the track list keep on playing the same song.

BUT

this is not a right time to be emo

the story of departing for 50years
but in the end still be together again - against all odds
by the call of Destiny
doesn't happen from day to day.

at some point,
we will have to say goodbye to each other
we will have to stop caring about each other
we will have to lost contact with each other
and few years later,
we shall walk pass each other on the street
like total strangers.

we just have to let go.

the important part is the memories that stays behind.
the happy moment we shared with each other
that still gives you a hearty smile,
warms your heart every time you reminiscing it;
that's the only thing matters.


"what" and "if" are just 2 ordinary words
but putting them together
"WHAT IF"
is a much more powerful word.

what if
what if
what if

it can trap you in an endless void.

I'm such a pain in the *ss

It's Mother's day today,
and
On the 1st 30mins of Mother's day,
I had my mum helped me pushed my broken car
along the street

Hell of a Mother's day treating;
What a terrible son I've been...

I thought about buying some exquisite present for her
to make it up.

But after she told me about grandma,
and everything else happened lately,
I know she doesn't want any fancy present.

I'm 20 now,
but still avoiding responsibilities.

I didn't do any chores,
or wash the dishes,
not even buy my own meal..

Every time i got my paycheck,
I will spent them ALL on MYSELF
Fulfilling my own shopping list
and
when I'm out of cash,
I get help from her
=(

Some people grow up from time to time
but definitely not me
I'm still like a baby
rely everything on mum

Now she's got to take care of grandma,
and my family
I think is really time for me to act as my age
to really take care of myself
and the whole family.

I think i will get my mum a responsible son
as a present this year.
and this present will serve her well
from today onwards
until he gives out his last breath.

Happy Mother's Day, Mummy
=)