Friday, December 3, 2010

I need to replicate the number of brain cells i have

so that i can be smarter

(okay i already sounded dumb enough to make this statement)

But i feel that I'm greatly sidetracked from my studies
ever since I graduated from high school.

College has always been my playground,
so most of the time I was just playing around
without taking anything seriously
and this semester i think the time i spent in Gurney is more than i spent in classes

All these have to stop
I felt like a blonde asking idiotic question
when it comes to academic related stuff
like "do fish get thirsty?"
or "how much milk is there in Milky Way"

and if i don't do something on it,
my brain cell might die Alone (if you get the joke; and no offence to blonde)

I was having hard time to balance study and the part time work,
but now I've quit my job
I really need to fully settle down to study
to actually feel the pressure in Advanced Diploma life
that people always taking about
and achieve some kick-ass result.

I believe once we acquired knowledge and wisdom,
we could equipped ourselves better in the work field later;
maybe it won't guarantee us a well-paid job
but at least we have some advantage
a better chance to bet

* feeling all pumped up after finish Rick Riordan's latest novel
Heroes of Olympus - the Lost Hero *

So i will turn into nerd-ish look soon xD

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Life sucks, and then you die

ya, i wish it was that simple ....

Life sucks

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

It's about finding your position in this world

It's about finding your position in this world,
try to fit in
and play your part well.....

But sometimes, you just don't have the authority
to play the part
you adore the most

Friday, October 22, 2010

Being the middle man

Sometimes, its sulky to stuck between everything,
and couldn't choose exactly what you want

Being the average student in the class,
double booked yourself and don't know which side to choose,
stumble between a fight that couldn't choose a side to help,
stuck between letting go and hatred,
stranded between bulky and skinny,
frozen between life at death - in limbo

nothing above them sounds good

However, I'm just happen to puzzled between true and false,
right and wrong
always couldn't choose a side and make a correct decision
hence forcing myself to be the middle man
and couldn't forward myself,
or simply back out.....

Guess I'm just gonna stay in this state
and get nothing in return

Thursday, October 7, 2010

I'm talking to the moon

I know you're somewhere out there
Somewhere far away
I want you back
I want you back
My neighbors think
I'm crazy
But they don't understand
You're all I have
You're all I have


At night when the stars
light up my room
I sit by myself

Talking to the Moon
Try to get to You
In hopes you're on
the other side
Talking to me too
Or am I a fool
who sits alone
Talking to the moon

I'm feeling like I'm famous
The talk of the town
They say
I've gone mad
I've gone mad
But they don't know
what I know

Cause when the
sun goes down
someone's talking back
They're talking back

At night when the stars
light up my room
I sit by myself
Talking to the Moon
Try to get to You
In hopes you're on
the other side
Talking to me too
Or am I a fool
who sits alone
Talking to the moon

Do you ever hear me calling?
Cause every night
I'm talking to the moon
Still trying to get to you

In hopes you're on
the other side
Talking to me too
Or am I a fool
who sits alone
Talking to the moon

I know you're somewhere out there
Somewhere far away

*from bruno mars - talking to the moon *

it just makes me in deep abyss, and couldn't get out from the agony


Monday, August 23, 2010

and I thought there were something more

I always thought there were something more
like in the movies;
years and years passed by

what i got is more disappointment
more agony
more desolation

and i lost myself beneath all these...

should I wake up and fight back?
I doubt that I have the courage.

But stuck in limbo doesn't make me go anywhere further

I just want myself back

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Down - Jason Walker

I don't know where I'm at.
I'm standing out the back,
And I'm tired of waiting.

Waiting here in in line,
Hoping that I'll find
What I've been chasing

I shot for the sky
I'm stuck on the ground
So why do I try?
I know I'm gonna fall down.
I thought I could fly,
So why did I drown?
You never know why
It's coming down, down, down.

Not ready to let go.
Cause then I'll never know
What I could be missing.

But I'm missing way too much.
When do I give up
What I've been wishing for?

I shot for the sky
I'm stuck on the ground
So why do I try?
I know I'm gonna fall down.
I thought I could fly,
So why did I drown?
You never know why
It's coming down, down, down.

Oh, I'm going down, down, down.
I can't find another way around
And I don't wanna hear the sound
Of losing what I've never found.

I shot for the sky
I'm stuck on the ground
So why do I try?
I know I'm gonna fall down.
I thought I could fly,
So why did I drown?
I'll never know why
It's coming down, down, down.

I shot for the sky
I'm stuck on the ground
So why do I try?
I know I'm gonna fall down.
I thought I could fly,
So why did I drown?
Oh,It's coming down, down, down.

credit to yik yang,
and cjk phark
for introducing this song......
if i'm not mistaken
is from the OST of Vampire Diaries

So why do I try, when I know I’m gonna fall down?

Aloha from deserted island

everyone is leaving,
to Uni,
to college,
scattered around the country;
and some even going to overseas...

wish you guys all the best in pursuing your dreams

now left nothing much in penang...

wasn't feeling so nostalgic until
keep bringing it up....

everyone is having a new life
at new uni
new college
trying new stuff
meeting new people


but we old penang-ites
still doing the same old thing..

gurney QB gurney QB
ntg much to do in penang ....

so, when you guys are coming back
you won't notice any changes on us
because in this deserted island
nothing much can make us change ....

probably we won't be catching up your footsteps,
and that's when the gap happen,
and everyone seems to lost contact with each other


and this is the moment,
we start to doubt,
why don't we leave this island when we have the chance
to try the new stuff
have a new life...

and the primitive motive
that makes you choose to stay in penang,
starts to fade
you begin to lose your faith...

Why am I still here?

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Its not a right tine to be Emo

The 3rd week of my advanced diploma had passed.
still trying to adapt myself,
to see new faces around the same old building,
while the old faces are still lingering
around every corner in the college.

anyhow, with my lovely classmates
spreading stressful aura around me
i think they have motivated me in some way
to be more hardworking than i used to be.

But this is disorienting some times,
i couldn't do
couldn't act
couldn't talk
couldn't think
like i used to be.
it's like some part of me is missing.

sorry that i've let you down,
and disappointed you >.<
i will try to balance out everything
and bring out the best of me;
as a good friend should be.

- - - - - - - - -

the rain still drizzling outside,
memories still stirring inside the house,
and the track list keep on playing the same song.


this is not a right time to be emo

the story of departing for 50years
but in the end still be together again - against all odds
by the call of Destiny
doesn't happen from day to day.

at some point,
we will have to say goodbye to each other
we will have to stop caring about each other
we will have to lost contact with each other
and few years later,
we shall walk pass each other on the street
like total strangers.

we just have to let go.

the important part is the memories that stays behind.
the happy moment we shared with each other
that still gives you a hearty smile,
warms your heart every time you reminiscing it;
that's the only thing matters.

"what" and "if" are just 2 ordinary words
but putting them together
is a much more powerful word.

what if
what if
what if

it can trap you in an endless void.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

I'm such a pain in the *ss

It's Mother's day today,
On the 1st 30mins of Mother's day,
I had my mum helped me pushed my broken car
along the street

Hell of a Mother's day treating;
What a terrible son I've been...

I thought about buying some exquisite present for her
to make it up.

But after she told me about grandma,
and everything else happened lately,
I know she doesn't want any fancy present.

I'm 20 now,
but still avoiding responsibilities.

I didn't do any chores,
or wash the dishes,
not even buy my own meal..

Every time i got my paycheck,
I will spent them ALL on MYSELF
Fulfilling my own shopping list
when I'm out of cash,
I get help from her

Some people grow up from time to time
but definitely not me
I'm still like a baby
rely everything on mum

Now she's got to take care of grandma,
and my family
I think is really time for me to act as my age
to really take care of myself
and the whole family.

I think i will get my mum a responsible son
as a present this year.
and this present will serve her well
from today onwards
until he gives out his last breath.

Happy Mother's Day, Mummy

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

I hang out with my cousins

It's been quite some times,
since i spent some quality time with my cousins,
cause i've been working every weekend...

so on last Saturday,
they asked me out for a drink
and catch up.....

So we went D'Joint after i worked
and we drank
more than "a drink"

we had :-

1 750ml black label

1 tower of Heineken

2 bucket of Tiger

3 shots of

2 shots of Tequila

and we went ti~~~~~~psy =)

XW, rachel and lishan XD

Me and rachel

Wei and rachel

Me, rachel and Lishan

Rachel, Wei and Lishan

Rachel and Lional

PS. Lional has some authority at D'Joint
and he treat us all for the "drinks"
Thanks Lional XD

Wei and the Heineken Tower

XW and Lishan *rfrf*

Me and rachel acting cute

After we finished all the drinks,
things got a bit complicated...........

but we did enjoyed the night =)

seems like alcoholic drinks
are sources for me to be happy
being tipsy was wayyyyyy awesome
no wonder got ppl call them "HAPPY JUICE"

and now,
im addicted to SHOTS

lemon drops
Buttery Nipples
Jello Shots
Three Wise Men

gotta try them all *shy*

call me alcoholic or what so ever
"like I'd care" XD

LIFE is about ENJOY
till the last second....

still addicted to LMFAO - Shots

Thursday, March 18, 2010

I made my choice

Life is about making choices,
and making the right one.

Lately this topic has been stirring again,
followed by the release of STPM result,
and the end of my diploma.

we keep wondering, which route will lead to a brighter future?
we hope to choose the correct path,
but only God knows which one is the right one.

Two years ago,
I choose to let go of Matriks
my teacher still call me mad until now;
and sometimes i really wonder
"what will my life be now if i've chosen Matriks?"

yeah, probably i will be studying Medicine,
or engineering.
these hot and popular courses which people regarded as
a stepping stone to a bright future.
Being a surgeon sounds like a good idea for me,
saving people's life from day to day.

yet now i'm still in accounting now,
doubting my ability to continue the misty road ahead.

Let's not make this about me only,
friends around me,
are having doubts in deciding their future too.
some choose a safer road,
decide to take degree before proceed further;
some took the bizarre one,
decide to go forest study;
and others who have higher financial ability,
decide to go far abroad.

Two years ago, we were given a chance to choose
in pursuing our further study.
there are people took the wrong turn,
and let go the golden opportunity.
there are some seems to be on the right track.

Two years later, we are given another chance to choose again
how magically life can be,
there is always a second chance.

Hopefully we all made a correct decision,
we will see the result in time.
wishing we all best of luck.

Despite that,
choices not only lies in academic field only.
we LIVE to choose.

we choose to be a good person, or a bad person;
we choose to tells the truth, or tells a lie;
we choose to live everyday happily, or emo everyday;
we choose to face the reality, or live in denial;

too many choices, too many diversion
too easy to pick the wrong one
and fall too deep you couldn't get up.

On the 16th day as I turned 20,
Janus offers me to choose between 2 doors
I embrace my past,
I made my choice.

to let go a crack that will never be fixed,
to cherish those that has never abandoned me,
to finish what i have started,
to stay out of the crowd,
to continue my life in the island,
and took a little adventure.

I won't regret,
even it might be a wrong turn that leads to no where.
but i'm happy with my choices.

Don't regret
cause when you started to regret,
and look back what you might missed,
the "what if" will strangle you,
make you stay while everything else move forward -
and you will be the only one stay and live in the past,
going no where else.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Happy Chinese New Year

Went praying when the clock strikes 12

on the 1st day of

Chinese New Year

then went for movie at gurney in the afternoon

did some traditional stuff that we always did on

Chinese New Year

taking pics at toilet @_@ hahah

still at toilet LOL

Watched 72家租客


taken after the movie

Went to Kek Lok Si later on at evening time
and jammed like hell


the last activity to wrap up our 1st day of CNY was...

he didn't puked into the ice container fyi XD

we have lots of fun

and hopefully more to come?


wishes everyone




Valentine's Day

there was this pit

told and passed by generations....

once we've met it,

we won't be stepping upon it;

we fall into it....

at the beginning, it was full of joy:

- sweetness and happiness has surrounded this pit

makes us fall deeper and deeper

like the lotus eater

indulged by it

and unwilling to get up...

but once we gravitate intensely

the pit doesn't feels like a candy house anymore;

it transform into something poisonous

we taste bitter

we feel jealousy

we shed tears

we experienced anger

it doesn't seems lovable anymore

this sugar-coated pit has metamorphose into something evil

every strand of sweetness are like morphine, cocaine

makes us become addicted....

yet the aftermath has brought us more pain and sorrow

In the end,

this process keeps on going


and going...

we were not like we used to be anymore;

the wise man before he fall

has became a junkie

crave for a glimpse of pleasant from the pit every single day

despite the misery and anguish comes right after it.....

the worst part is

the uprising took months, years

even though you have successfully relinquish it,

scars remain...

and there are thousands of them scattered along the path ahead you

what is this pit named?


Happy Valentine's day

to those who emerge into the right one

for those who still submerge in it,

good luck in evacuating...

as for those who never fall in it before,

you may consider to do so,

for this is a hell lots of experience